God will not abandon you

God will not abandon you.

God will never abandon you...in any year or any moment.

Has life knocked you down?

Left you with lost dreams, fragile nerves, and a broken heart?

You are not alone.

Immanuel. God with us.

In the broken.

In the fire.

In the mess.

In the abandonment.

Do you feel abandoned this year?

Dear one,

I want you to know that I know what it feels like to feel abandoned.

I know what it feels like to physically be abandoned.

When my first husband took his life by suicide in 2015?

It felt like him and I were flying along in an airplane that we promised to share and take care of....even in bumpy air space.

And then one day we were flying along...through the clouds and experiencing rough turbulence for years and he opened the back hatch of the plane and shoved me out.

That's what abandonment feels like.

Being shoved out of a moving airplane with no warning and definitely no parachute.

You hit the air and in that moment you look back at the airplane and know who shoved you out. And you don't know what will kill you first......when you smack down to the earth or when your heart and mind explode from the knowing of the reason why you're free falling to the ground.

If you have felt this way......for whatever reason and I know there are so many endless reasons for a human being to feel abandoned.....I want you to know that you are not alone. You are not alone.

And how do I know this?

I know this because when I was tumbling to the ground after being pushed from the airplane of my life?

I thought I was a goner.

I thought I was going to die

In many ways and on many healing days I wanted to die. I begged to die. The feeling of worthlessness that abandonment puts into your heart? It has you feeling as if you are not worthy of another breathe.

I thought I was all alone.

But.....friend?

I didn't die.

I fought hard against that wind to save my own life.

And I wasn't alone.

And God was with me.

Immanuel.

God with us.

He was my parachute.

He was my parachute from the moment that hatched opened and I was pushed out.

And at first I didn't know He was there.

I couldn't see Him.

I couldn't feel His presence.

But He was there.

And He didn't promise to make the landing smooth or to make everything all better but He did promise to not leave me. And that mattered more than anything. It meant that I could endure the brutal and the hard because He was with me even if no one else was. He loved me even if I felt unloved.

God will not abandon you.

And you're going to make it through.

You will.

You will because you have a parachute.

If I am still here after being pushed from my airplane?

If I built an entirely new life and healed my trauma and dark pain?

Then you're going to make it, friend. You're going to make it through whatever you're battling right now. I don't know how or when but you will. You can get through literally anything. You can completely reinvent yourself. You can heal. You can overcome.

You can be shoved from the airplane of your life and you can start over.

God will not abandon you.

You are stronger than you realize.

And you are going to make it even if the landing is rough.

Hold that knowledge and love in your heart.

Love always, Nik