Healing Grief through Joy

For the last nine years, I have devoted my life to sharing my personal experience with grief.  I have talked privately with thousands of women and men from all over the globe about their life struggles. I have held hands via my words with people on the worst days of their lives and stood by them with my support and love when they rise up out of their deep suffering. 

 

I am a Certified Grief Support Specialist.

 

 

I possess extensive knowledge both professionally and personally in the following areas: trauma healing, coping with anxiety, depression, fear, grief, navigating the challenges of being newly widowed, processing grief from losing a loved one, discovering joy and hope after life's difficulties, rebuilding one's life following a loss, addressing grief and mental wellness related to sensorineural hearing loss, and healing specifically from suicide trauma and grief. 

 

​Discover compassionate and heartfelt support from a professional who deeply understands the complex emotions surrounding grief, loss, and trauma.

 

I have deep compassion, empathy, and love for everybody.....always.

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I can help you gradually heal your grief by discovering joy. What does this entail? It involves slowly recognizing moments of happiness in your daily life, such as appreciating the sunlight streaming through your kitchen window, watching a film that your loved one would have enjoyed, sharing laughter over coffee with a friend, and engaging in activities that your loved one cherished. This way, you can feel a lasting connection, as love endures forever.

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I want to share with you the many losses I have faced in my life: My grandmother passed away just two days after my first wedding; she had a stroke days before the ceremony and couldn't attend, which broke my heart. My dear uncle, who was like a father to me, died in a fire accident when I was five months pregnant with my first child. I delivered the eulogy at his funeral, marking my first experience of comforting others in their grief while grappling with my own. My first husband, whom I was with for 12 years, died by suicide, which drove me to return to school to study grief counseling. Four years ago, I lost my beloved grandfather—one of my closest friends—who passed away from natural causes at the age of 90. I was by his side, helping him transition peacefully surrounded by love and family. Lastly, my cherished dog of 16 years passed away in my home November 2022; she was my companion and my support through many moments of grief and joy.​

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I am here to guide you through your grief. My role isn’t to fix or heal you or to make you feel completely better—such healing is a personal journey that comes from within. Instead, I’m here to educate, gently encourage, inform, and envelop you in compassion and hope.

 

You can count on me for my extensive knowledge, unwavering support, and heartfelt compassion.

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“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp”-Anne Lamott

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Grief is not a sickness that requires a cure; rather, it is a manifestation of love. We learn to carry it, accept it, heal parts of it, and honor its presence. Our grief deserves compassion, community, and a space where it can be acknowledged. While time may not heal all wounds, it allows us to discover ways to comfort our aching hearts.

 

We shape our lives around our grief; some individuals may carry their sorrow for a lifetime, while others believe they have fully healed. Each experience of grief is deeply personal, unique to the individual and their loss.

 

I openly share my own experiences with loss, as many people seek understanding from those who have also navigated grief rather than from someone who merely offers counsel without sharing their own story.

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I take a holistic approach which is where my spiritual mentoring comes in, considering the entire individual, which encompasses the body, mind, heart, nervous system, and soul. 

 

Grief finds solace in storytelling and the sharing of wounds. It can be challenging to embrace support from someone who sits across from you, attempting to "fix" your pain; this approach can feel distant. Allow me to provide you with warmth and understanding instead.

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"At the heart of real intimacy is a certain vulnerability. It is hard to trust someone with your vulnerability unless you can see in them a matching vulnerability and know that you will not be judged. In some basic way it is our imperfections and even our pain that draws others close to us."

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As a Grief Support Specialist, my aim is to support you on your journey through grief. I will establish a safe environment where you can hold, process, and explore your feelings without judgment and with compassion. Though grief may persist, as love is eternal, there are ways to alleviate suffering while you navigate this path.

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You can discover joyful moments along your journey that will inspire you to continue moving forward.

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Your stories and your words are safe with me. Do something good and loving for yourself. You deeply deserve it.

 

 

Warmth & blessings,

 

Nikki Bonkoski

 

-Certified Grief Support Specialist 

I attained my certification in 2017 at The University of Wisconsin-Madison 

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​I specialize in various forms of grief, with a particular emphasis on grief related to suicide.

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What is a Certified Grief Support Specialist? 

The Grief Support Specialist Certificate provides learners with an in-depth understanding of grief, while simultaneously cultivating and enhancing the skills necessary to offer effective grief support in both personal and professional contexts. Douglas Smith was my instructor, and it is with great sadness that I share he passed away this past year before I had the chance to express my gratitude for how profoundly his teaching, personal storytelling, and guidance in supporting others through their grief—while honoring my own—transformed my life. A former worship leader who became a continuing studies teacher, he taught me about his life and journey with grief in a way that deeply touched my heart. I am immensely grateful to him, and I hope this serves as a beautiful reminder that it only takes one person to awaken us to the calling God has placed on our lives. Doug helped me recognize my purpose, and I aspire to share that same light with someone else in the future.

 

 

 

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​If you are seeking grief support, please don't hesitate to reach out to me via the form below. 

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This is a gift-based model, which means you can contribute whatever amount you feel comfortable with for my time and expertise.

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I offer free grief support to those who have lost a loved one to suicide and are unable to provide a monetary thank you for my time and expertise.

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As a Grief Support Specialist, I have guided thousands through their grieving process. You can rely on my professionalism and personal experience, and I will always offer you compassionate and supportive words of comfort. 

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​If you're looking for a speaker for your small gathering or large event, I can address topics such as widowhood, young widowhood, suicide loss, suicide awareness, and grief. I reside in Rosemount, MN, and I am willing to travel.

 

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