Nikki Bonkoski
Nikki Bonkoski is committed to assisting individuals as they navigate their paths of grief and trauma healing, spirituality, and overcoming difficult life experiences.
On a beautiful Minnesota morning, you can find her embracing nature, writing alongside her dog, reading, and connecting with those seeking advice and comfort.
Her poignant, captivating, haunting, and timely poetry and prose have touched the hearts of many across the globe. Her words are genuine, and her remarkable talent for articulating both profound sorrow and overwhelming joy is truly unique.
Nikki became a mental health and suicide awareness/prevention advocate shortly after losing her husband to suicide in 2015. Since that tragic day, she has devoted her time and compassion to supporting other survivors of suicide loss around the world. She obtained her certification as a grief support specialist in 2017 and founded The Brave Ladies Club the same year. The Brave Ladies Club is a private support group for women across the globe who lost a spouse or partner to suicide.
In her twenties, she traveled the world as a flight attendant for Northwest (now Delta) Airlines, visiting exciting destinations such as Singapore, Tokyo, Osaka, Amsterdam, London, Canada, and various locations throughout the USA. This experience enriched her understanding of different cultures and people. When she sensed that this career no longer matched her purpose, she gracefully departed from the airline and started her own wedding planning and floral art business, Something Blue, from her home studio in 2006. Over the years, Nikki has designed and created fresh floral arrangements for more than 500 weddings and has worked closely with numerous brides, ensuring their special days are meticulously planned and executed. In 2013, her work with Something Blue Design was featured in Minnesota Bride magazine. For many years, she has dedicated herself to crafting unforgettable moments for countless brides.
There is always a light within us that is free from all sorrow and grief,
no matter how much we may be experiencing suffering.
"You are already radiating light for others to accept, to see by. Proof that this journey is THE journey for you. It's not supposed to be easy. It's in the 'digging deep' that we grow, and eventually realize enlightenment. You are strong, serene, brimming with compassion for others, and most importantly, yourself. There's no stopping now!"
"Nik, Your miracle is anything but small.
The miracle in your story took place within you, essentially making you the miracle.
Don’t mistake this for a charismatic attempt for strategically complimenting you for an alternate purpose.
I’m simply pointing out the truth that the details of your miracle manifest in and through you.
In your loving and encouraging words that speak life into the grimmest of circumstances.
You and all you do so selflessly for others is proof positive...
You are a miracle."
"You are so awesome at what you do. I have never seen a person with such depth of caring and compassionate feelings towards others with this entire subject of grieving and loss. You are a gem in a dark world for many and you are blessed with the gifts of wisdom and understanding to help spread hope publicly like you do."
"Intensely, and so knowledgeable, expressed. You are a beacon to those of us who are genuinely well-intentioned and sympathetic but can never be empathetic. You are quite something Miss Nik."
" Hi Nik, I have to admit, I first saw a re-post of what you shared on April 17th just the other day, and it brought me to tears, not only because of the loss that you and your family experienced but because your words were so gracious, so careful, so inspiring. Thank you for shedding a light that some of us cannot because we feel nothing positive from our own father's choice to commit suicide. It has been 11 years since my father committed suicide, and I wasn't 4 years old when he did it, I was 34, but for my sister and I, well, I won't speak for my sister, but for me, when people ask me about my dad, because perhaps they don't know he's gone, or they don't know the circumstances, I have nothing positive to report. It has felt from then until this day like he simply gave us all the finger. Permanently. He may have rationalized he was doing us all a favor by taking his life, but I would give up any of the imagined favours he's done us by having even one more day with him. I'm not able to count all the times I have broken down sobbing in front of my own little girls because they will never know my parents, their paternal grandparents. I don't know how to frame things about what he did in a positive light. For anyone. I am also captivated by how you can plead with others graciously to not do what my dad or your late husband have done because when someone muses about committing suicide, I become livid. I find myself only able to muster rage about whatever I assume they must be romanticizing about the notion of suicide. I am not a gracious person in that respect, and yet I am an ordained minister who is supposed to be like Jesus, and yet you are far more like Him than I am. I mourn for your loss. And the loss to your little girl and boy. But I am also so glad you have been able to walk away from the ashes with a gift that I cannot seem to glean from all the ways I have attempted to process my own trauma. Thank you for your example, your courage, and your openness. Best regards and blessings."
"Your post just now about what happens after could not have come at any more of a perfect moment. I have been trying to find the strength not to die today. I was crying as I read it and still am. I am tired. I am in physical and emotional pain. I have always fought but I really felt like today was time to stop it all. Your post made me understand how much pain I would cause others. I'm not ok but it made me pause and think. Please don't stop doing what you do. You saved my family from pain with your post. I'll keep fighting. I won't quit. Thank you."
"I commend you on what a truly motivating and inspirational woman you are. How you get up every day with a positive attitude and a smile and raise your kids is overwhelming. You radiate love, positivity, and kindness and you will have helped so many people through your posts. People you don’t know and will never meet but some people reading here will owe their life to you and for others, you will have turned their life around. You are an incredible woman."
"Nikki...you are a blessing to so many of us!!! Your words are so powerful and have helped and are helping so many.....
PLEASE MAY I BE IN LINE TO HAVE AN autographed copy of your book that will be published someday."
"I'm trying so hard to find self-love. I still think about death every day. And life keeps throwing it at me... Maybe one day I'll catch a break. But until then my beautiful daughters and siblings I do have are enough. I read and reread your posts. I need them as fuel. You are beautiful and I just wanted to let you know your words mean more than you could ever know."
"THANK YOU for ALL you do!! At a low point now.... your promising words mean everything!"
"Good morning Nik (it’s a bright and unusually sunny afternoon here in the UK).
I just wanted to reach out to say that right at this moment, in a bleak period of pain, I stumbled across the video post you shared of you and your boy dancing two years ago. God bless; his laughter is truly infectious and your strength and ongoing grit, it filled me with a burst of joy. I’ll keep smiling on through the pain and the rest of today. Warmest regards.
P.S This is the most beautifully constructed, thoughtful and superlative paragraph of prose I’ve read for some time. You have such an inherent talent for writing. Your words are stunning and captivate. I hope that one day they are published in order that they become accessible to our wider world Perhaps someday in the future I shall see your words on a bookshelf in a public library and smile reflecting on this memory "
"You made my day and said so many things I needed to hear. Thank you for taking the time to write it all out and share your experience. It is such a hard journey… I really appreciate you. God bless"
"I repair broken lighthouses with words."